Getting back into my groove!

Yay me actually finished some knitting this week! Yup that's right I rock!!

Sunday nights , Monday mornings

Sunday evening used to be a horrid time for me. My husband always used to work away and would be leaving for the week either late Sunday night or early Monday morning. I would try hard not to let the thought of him leaving spoil the day but honestly it would always be in the back of my mind and I would always feel sad. Monday was always dreadful , the loneliness crippling , I almost felt in mourning every bloody week. Dramatic much!! Haha!! Anyway Dave no longer works away and so I no longer have that feeling of dread all day Sunday. Instead I feel happy and relaxed. I enjoy the thought that a new week is about to begin , new challenges , new experiences and lots of fun to be had.
This is one thing in my life that has most definitely changed for the better!
It's Sunday evening now and I have lots planned for the coming week, busy busy as always ! Can't wait to get started!!

The 4 o'clock slump

I've had a pretty good day today. Baby slept in 4 hours stretches over night so woke up pretty refreshed , if cold! Had a calm morning. Children got to school on time. Visited dad for a coffee. Baby had a nap. Sister visited. Then mum and dad popped in later. Even managed to do some art work! So why do I get to 4 o'clock and suddenly feel completely overwhelmed! I honestly could sob , I am exhausted and can't bring myself to even stand up! Can I have a slap please ! Fingers crossed I feel better soon!

Things to do

Today we shall enjoy the last day of the holidays! Unfortunately Dave has already gone back but he is on an early so will be home before we know it! Plans for today include scooter riding, cookie baking , knitting and dancing! It's all good fun in the Wyche household :)

Feeling positive

I've got a good feeling about this year. Pretty convinced it's not going to be a easy one but I think the challenges will make us stronger in the end. There is lots that I want to do, lots I want to achieve and I know that anything is possible! All I need to do is have some kind of plan and I can get what I want. The first thing I really really need to deal with is our finances. We have alot of debt and not quite enough income. We have scaled down on alot but honestly things are still pretty tough. This makes things so very hard and I'm certain this is affecting my husband more than he let's on . It must be pretty tough being the sole bread winner and demoralising when you work so hard but have nothing to show for it. So I need to work out how to make things better, bring in some more money to ease his burden. There are a number of things I can do , perhaps make a real go of selling my jewellery , maybe finding some paid singing work. Sensibly tho I think a job is the way to go! Some weekend work perhaps? Mason is still only very young and exclusively breastfed but once he is 6 months I will start looking for work. I don't want to be away from the home during the week until he is at preschool but there must be something I can do. I'm not work shy and its time to prove it! So watch this space , 2012 is going bring alot of changes around here!

All quiet on the bloggy front

I've not written here in a little while, not because I have nothing to say but because I don't have the words to say it. Does that even make any sense? 2011 is drawing to a close and I can't even begin to describe how mind blowing this year has been for me. I have felt such a wide range of emotions , experienced so many things that I truly believe I will be entering the new year as a totally new person. Not just changed , someone new! I look in the mirror and I barely recognise the person looking back at me . It's not just about being older and it's certainly not about being wiser! Some of the differences are bad ,no not bad that's the wrong word , they are more confusing than bad . I've got to tell you alot of the changes are awesome. I've begun to realise my own strength , have confidence in my abilities , the courage to try something new even if it might fail. I'm entering the new year a mum of three amazing children who bring me such joy. I'm surrounded by such love and friendship. I've always felt that I'm not really liked, that I'm irritating and hardwork! I AM irritating and hardwork but now I know that it's ok. The right people are willing to work hard and in return I naturally become less challenging to be around. There I go not making much sense again. Life isn't perfect , who's life is? There is always something to work towards but I am glad of that . We should never stop trying to improve things , that's when we become lazy and complacent . I have no idea what the new year will bring for me . I can tell you what I hope it to bring. Some fun , love , hope and excitement . I am going to sing more , craft more , let go more! I will hold on to negativity less , spend less time online , moan less . The only person who can make these things happen is me. These aren't unachievable goals , these are NOT new years resolutions . It's just the way I need to live my life .

Onwards and upwards as they say . Good things are coming . It won't always be easy but I'm damn sure going to make it worth it !

Just over a week til Christmas

And I'm not ready!! Meal not organised , presents not bought and worse no cash to do either! I don't actually care tho because it's not about either of those things. The important thing is being with my wonderful family and that is what I'm looking forward too :) Hubby has the week between Christmas and new year off and I'm so pleased ! We desperately need some time together as a five and I intend to make the most of it.

Strike Day

Today the children are not at school due to the strikes. Actually they wouldn't have been going anyway because they are sick but thats beside the point! Lol! So anyway, I've seen so many parents on Facebook complaining that there is no school. Now for those parents that work I can see how it is inconvenient but for those that don't work? Why complain!! It's just one day , what would you be doing that's so important anyway. I'm taking the opportunity to cuddle on the sofa with my little ones , staying in the warm because we have nothing at all planned. I miss Tegan when she is at school all day. She is often tired and grumpy by the time she gets home so we rarely get to do anything nice after school and the weekends go far too quickly. I'm not going to pretend I know any of the details of the strike so can't really form an educated opinion , but I do know that I am grateful for the dayoff with my babies!

Poorly children

Is there anything worse than seeing your children poorly sick? Thank god my children are generally healthy but this week they have dreadful colds . Hacking coughs, streaming eyes, runny noses , painful ears the works!! So this week instead of the crafting we were hoping to do we are mostly sitting , cuddling and watching tv. Fingers crossed that they get well soon x

Christmas Crafting.

I've got lots of ideas for Christmas crafts I want to do with the children this year . Not to mention some crafts I want to get done myself!! But look it's nearly December already and I've not even started!!! I had hoped for a completely handmade Christmas but let's be honest it ain't gonna happen! I will however manage a couple of handmade ornaments for the tree . Let's keep our targets small while things are so hectic :)
Inspire me folks ! What ideas do you have for projects with your small people?

Confused thoughts

I have a lot in my life to be grateful for. My family , my health , my home all that Jazz ! I am grateful . I often look around at all I have and think 'wow! Just look at how lucky I am' . Things are very nearly perfect . Money worries are an issue though. Due to some very silly decisions when we were younger money is likely to always be something that causes worry. That said we are not too materialistic these days and I honestly don't think we do too badly considering the extremely tight budgets we have to live on. What I'm wondering thoughts whether it is wrong to want more? If 80% of the time things are good should we accept that the remaining 20% will never be perfect. I don't think that explains it well , I did say it was confusing! There is one aspect of my life that I wish was different . If I'm honest its been that way a very very long time but because everything else is so good I made a choice to accept it. I decided I could live with it. Recently though I've been reminded that it 'could' be different. Suddenly my decision doesn't seem so clear cut! Suddenly I'm thinking how much better things could be . I love my life , my husband , my family but I can't help wondering 'what if' .

Things have got a little crazy

I'm still here , still plodding along. The children are wonderful . Mason is 3 months already ! I should be happy , I am happy but I've got to be honest things have got a little confusing. I can't talk about it here, or anywhere really? So I'm being quiet , working things out , plodding. I will be back .

Friday again

The weeks seem to be flying by at the moment. It will soon be Christmas and then new year. It only feels like yesterday that Dave and I were discussing maybe the possibility of baby number 3 and now here I am nursing him , doing homework with my 5 year old and chatting to my 3 year old . Who , by the way, only knew about 5 words this time last year! Insane!! Things are not easy at the moment. I am tired all the time and really really need to get over my desire to be fricking super mum. Who is she anyway? My children are clean ( sort of) dressed ( in a fashion) and fed every day. That's pretty darn amazing me thinks . Pre children I used to struggle to just get me out of the door on time! I can't quite believe that I'm the same person as back then . That girl still exists , I catch glimpses of her from time to time . Generally tho I am a whole new me. Most of the time I love new me. Other times I could slap her!! Haha!!

Next week I will hopefully post some pics of some crafty projects I've got on the go.

Hey you never know I may even be back to posting every day at some points!! Don't hold your breath tho please :)

Late nights and early starts

It's a strange thing for someone as tired as I claim to be to stay up past midnight and to get up before Dawn. But recently that's what been happening. A combination of things causing this but the main problem is my inability to turn off my brain. It is constantly racing thinking about life , love and everything. I wish I could just solve some of the problems in my own and in my family's lives but I fear more problems would only arrive. Therefore I need to work out a way to put my worries to one side just long enough to get some really restful sleep. My immune system does not appear to be coping well with the barrage of germs the winter months and school age children are throwing at me. My singing voice is still not back to full strength , my skin is pale and spotty and my tummy is flabby . Ok well that last one might be more to do with constant snacking and lack of exercise but you get the picture.
On a more positive note Tegan and Euan are loving school . Mason appears to be thriving . I have good friends , a fulfilling hobby which I one day hope to earning from ( the singing - please voice come back!) and the ever supportive family! So mostly things are good in my world , the problems are really all superficial and caused by my greed.

So I just need to get over myself! Job done!! Lol!!

Happy Friday!

Today I've woken in a completely different frame of mind! It helps that the sun is shining I am sure! Voice is missing in action , nose is blocked , house is untidy but do you know what? Life is good! I have goals and it might take me a long time but I will achieve them. No-one ever got anywhere by just moaning about what's wrong with the world , you have to be proactive!So I'm making lists , decluttering and trying to see the positives that surround me. I'm not going to pretend that every day will be easy but easy is boring anyway! Onwards and upwards!

Time is flying by so quickly

My baby is 9 weeks old already and in some ways it feel like he has been here forever. My older two are well settled at school ( and then along comes half term!) and normality is slowly returning! It's easy to forget that I've just had a baby and subsequently I'm maybe pushing myself too far. The late night and early starts are taking there toll and for the second time since Masons arrival I have lost my voice. Miserable under any circumstances I think you'll agree but for a singer disastrous ! It has a direct affect on my mood and so I now just feel like crying and I'm very sorry for myself. Feeling sorry for myself won't make me better tho so I need to try hard to be proactive instead. So for a couple of days I will wrap up warm , drink honey and lemon and concentrate on REST .

Swimming through soup

How can it be that seven weeks after Mason was born I suddenly feel worse not better? I was coping or at least doing a great impression of someone coping. I was wearing make-up and heels for goodness sake. Now I'm struggling to do my hair!! Aaaaarrrrrggghhhh! This feeling of exhaustion started to get worse once I ran out of my placenta capsules, a coincidence maybe? Maybe not? Regardless I'm going to look for some vitamins or something to boost me back up.

Feeling stressed

Getting my life balance is so very tricky. I want to continue doing the things that make me feel good , make me feel like me . Yet I feel so very guilty a lot of the time. Shouldn't I be giving up my hobbies etc to concentrate on my children who are after all now my life? However if I give up on 'my' stuff what will I do once the children grow up and move on? Won't it be too late then to pick up where I left off? If I give up singing til my youngest is 16 I'll be in my mid forties !! How many opportunities will be available to me then? I'm feeling tired and unwell this week.I know this is because I went out at the weekend and rehearsed on Monday. If I'd just stayed at home with my babies I would be ok. Am I being punished for wanting a life. Or am I just being hysterical because I'm tired. I moaned to some online friends this week , I normally try to stay positive. I was told , in jest I think, to shut up. And now I feel upset and cross. Gah they were right to tell me to shut up I'm getting on my own nerves!!

The Internet is taking over my life! Again!!

I am attached to my iPod ALL DAY! I'm getting nothing done and I've got to be honest i am driving myself insane. I should be sleeping right now but here I am online again. So I've gone to bed iPod in hand BUT with very little battery. I intend to use it til the battery dies tonight and then leave it locked in my bedroom all day tomorrow to stop me logging in. I wonder if this will work? Somethings got to give because I'm am neglecting my real life in favour of my virtual one and it has to stop! Wish me luck folks!